With You, I know...

This may be a lot for You to know, but then again, maybe You already know it,
It may be that You live with the same "knowing" as my heart...

It is when I look at You, I know in absolute terms,  what True Love is...

You are the Standard against which I grade all others,
and alas,
I know that there is no one who will ever eclipse my knowing of You

The smile that crosses Your face, the laughter that fills our time together,
fuels my Heart like no other has ever done..

The touch of Your hand, the embrace of Your arms,
wraps and soothes and communicates more to my Soul, than any moment ever has..

My heart aches for every pain that life has placed in Your path, and I wish I could wash them all away.
My heart breaks for every undeserved slight this world has encumbered You with..

I scream silently inside wishing to hold and nurture and show You just what it is that Your existence
does to me..
and what it's supposed to feel like when someone says that they Love You..

Knowing every second, that what I feel can never be.

That in this life I must be Thankful for the gift of knowing what this feels like to Love this way,
even if You are to never know..
I must be Thankful I have been blessed with even a glimpse of what it means to know this
deep and divine feeling of Love.. Pure and Sacred and Unconditional..

I would move mountains and slay dragons if You ever needed me to. I would walk those thousand miles and dive the deepest seas, even if just to see You smile.. just to see You smile..

I will carry this with me all of my days. And even if You never know, My Heart always will.
For without You, my heart would have never known that it was this capable, and this blessed.

No matter where You are, know for certain that I am always with You, as You are with me.

For with You, I know... what True Love Is..

again...

If you were granted the chance to again be with someone whom you have personally lost, for just another 24 hours, who would it be...
Would the choice come from deep within your heart, or would this choice be made from your mind's list of candidates...
Who would it be that you would bring back for these few precious moments to be shared...

A Teacher with whom you shared a deep lesson learned, who set you on a path of seeking and knowledge...

An Elder who imparted wisdom and Grace, whose faith in who you were and who you would become was unshakable...

A Lover, with whom you shared your most intimate fears and dreams, with whom you walked your stories  until they were taken, and left your heart broken and in the grips of grief.

Who would they be....

What would you say if you had 24 hours to speak... would it be memories, new experiences, truths left unsaid in your last goodbye to each other...?

Would your embrace be enough to say everything your Heart needed to divulge.. would your tears say everything your Soul needed to shed so as to make this second chance count for all the missteps in the first go round.

Would you just listen... and hang on ever word from your Beloved, allowing them to fill the time with all that their journey has been for them since they too said goodbye...

Would you just sit quietly, wrapped in this feeling of divine oneness, to have been given these hours to just "Be" present for each other...

and as your moments in each others blessed company again draw to a close, how would you say another Good-bye.. how will you speak everything that this moment holds...

What words would you allow your Heart to form and speak... would you hold anything back or let it all flow.. 24 hours of reflection and interaction, a second chance...

As your Loved one rises to leave, and looks your way with Love overflowing in their smile, what would you hold deep deep down..

If you were granted the chance...
just 24 hours...
would you do it...
again...

One moment in time...

take this moment, and live it this moment,

not focused on tomorrow or yesterday, but this moment..

Live it's finite lifespan as if it were the last you would ever see..

take this moment and truly open your eyes to all of it's splendour,

praise its very gift to your soul, the chance to be, here, now, present,

a moment that is denied to many, whose last has been named,

worry not for tomorrow, or for the trappings of your existence,

for all will unfold according to life's manuscript,

flowers ask not for tomorrow's sunshine or stress of their seasons end,

they raise their blooms one moment in time after another,

they raise their blooms one moment in time after another,

 find what you have lost in this moment, 

free yourself from duty and all that weighs heavy on your Soul,

strip away the losses and grief, the strife and your minds perception of

what you should be...

your very Spirit knows this place, 

this one moment in time when you simply Are...

feel your Being flood with childhood memories, 

when every single precious second felt like an eternity of wonder,

and you wore those moments as a badge of honour...

Understand in this one moment in time,

that You are perfect and have been created as such,

for this very instant to be fulfilled...

This one moment in time is,

because "You" are...

before...

when the last bell sounds it's tone across the landscape

that our human ears will ever hear,

when the last new life is brought forth into the light of day...

when the last time we must say goodbye to a loved one is at hand

and we must embrace our aching goodbye...

when the last season has made her mark on this landscape

and we stand to feel this knowledge,

when the last sunset has met the last sunrise

with her her golden glow..

before all of these come to pass,

in the very instant before their ceasing,

we shall hear a mighty trumpet blast..

the sharp report of that first note shall signal

that death has lost, and Faith has won...

that goodness and Love have swept away 

any mountain, any enemy

any pain...

before we fall, we shall be wrapped in Peace,

and we shall know we are safe at last...

it's time to go deeper...

it's time to go deeper...

I feel like I have lost my mojo a little bit about my blog, maybe I am out of ideas, maybe I am just in pause mode... or at least that is what I had thought until a blog friend reached out today with a note to see if I was ok (thank you S)... a nice check in if you will... and that brought me to the title of this post..

it's time to go deeper...

time to delve below the surface and root around in the cellar so to speak... unpack some of the stored packages and boxes.. you know the ones, those that are filled with the stuff we don't talk about, the stuff we pack away and try to ignore... maybe its time to open the cellar door and let some light shine in and remove the shadows... 

it's time to go deeper...

time to look at what does really matter, and not just write the words but hear and feel them... time to examine the "why's" and the "why the hell not's"... and even a few "why the hell did you's" too...

I can't promise this path will be uplifting or filled with sunshine and lollipops,
I can't promise that it will even stay focused on this path I am looking at today...
but I can tell you,

it's time to go deeper...

what has passed...

what has passed, should hang like a photograph in a gallery of your mind,
a reminder of feelings, places, dates and times,
it should remind one of choices made and lines drawn and outcomes of these decisions...

it should reflect who one was before learning and growth changed them into who they are this day,
it should serve as a touchstone, a waving flag that living in this place freezes you in the same time,
and erases the inherent lessons of those past footsteps...

what has passed cannot and should not be built as a wall to impede your progress forward,
for dragging the culmination of grief, missteps, anger and fear, chases away the chance for blooming,
growth, peace and Love to flourish in a new season...

forward and onward, reaching for what is to come with open hands and mind,
allowing the mountains of what has gone before to fade quietly away and become only a thin layer
of who you were.. colouring ever slightly who you have become,
one facet of a sparkling diamond, dancing in newness as what has passed is irretrievable...

it is a choice, this movement forward... grasp it and let it lead you... your heart knows where...

whisper with the Wren call...

I am very honoured to have a featured guest Blogger today. 

Sharon from "Holy Writing" has a wonderful Blog that I visit regularly for some Soul filling Spiritual time.

Thank you my friend, for the honour of allowing me to have you here at Current Ripple.

Journal notes at the Flint River ....02-18-12

 

Silent,still,eternal woods.Vultures circle soundlessly high above.Every stump has a past,every leaf a song.A crow calls from a tall dead tree,again and again.Water ripples,unhurried.Two beech leaves caught up in the breeze,land in the river.Deer prints in thegray sand.

 

Nothing here speaks of perfection.It is all messy,broken,twisted,full of holes,knobbed.Vine branches,logs,towhees calling from both sides of the river.Crows fly overhead heading West.Everything flows and opens like a lotus.The damp ground under my feet accepts  the rain,sunlight,the fallen light green mistletoe near me,broken,alone.

 

I am the self-apppointed abbess of this solitary spot.The leaves are my prayers heading downstream for their own purpose.This log is my desk and chair by a window.The choir?Crows,a wren and the towhees.The tall gray bare trees are a cloud of witnesses with the tops of the pines swaying to the music.The beech leaves have messages written in the veins as they flutter down.

 

The abbess sees,listen and relishes all that is here.The word hurry disappears around the bend with the current.

 

The stump with its past,its story,leans towards the tall bare tree that is festooned with mistletoe.

One day ,it too, will be a stump in the long movement of time on the river in the eternal woods.

 

The sun peeks through the branches as if a bright white candle has been lit in the chapel and placed on a high tall window sill.Lit for vespers, those praise prayers that are said every day at all times around the world.Mine added as a whisper with the wren call.

 

Unlike the monastery in Conyers,whose plain cinder block walls glow in pale blue and pink when the sun comes through the stained glass windows,the pale sun here brings only green and beige in reflection on the waters of my river.

 

I am very present to this outpouring.The Buddhists call it mindfulness.I am here with this,not back or forward,here,now,waiting for words to form.There aren't enough.   

Holy Writing can be found by clicking "here" drop by and show her some Love.

assurance...

assurance,

the calming resolution that all will be well,

that all will be secure and safe...

a positive declaration, a surety

words and actions that shoulder the moment,

removing uncertainty...

a promise spoken that spans the unknown ground ahead,

a path of security, full of certainty,

knowledge that as you traverse the road lain before your feet,

you will be safe and protected...

in my words to you, or in yours to me,

our assurance that we are here for one another,

our promises to be a solid foundation,

a journey onwards with strength and Love...

freedom from doubt,

my hand held out for yours,

embrace and let go of the hesitation,

blessed assurance...

midnight snow...

twelve am, and the sky is lit like stormy afternoon,

the lights of the city reflect and ricochet off the thick cloud cover,



soft and fluffy flakes of clean, crisp snow

descend silently across the quiet landscape...

the driveway lamps, beaming their rays like solitary Lighthouses,

illuminate the accumulating frozen whiteness,

the stillness is deafening and encompassing,

this sudden winter wonderland

in its as yet unbroken covering...

no footfalls, no human interference with shovel or plow,

a softening blanket to greet early risers...

a whitewash of winters grime,

creates a monotone palette of white and grey...

except for the silent glow of the lamp standards,

I feel alone with my thoughts,

their watchful gaze intersects with mine in these moments

we share this midnight snow,

cherishing our secrets...

privilege...

every situation that comes our way, is an opportunity to rise to the challenge that is lain before us.

another opportunity to face this obstacle and decide that our values and commitment to ourselves and to be the best we can, is what should guide our actions going forward to a resolution...

your best foot forward so to speak, for any mountain in our path only creates the opportunity for

Us to choose how we will react and how we will face the situation..

do we challenge the mountain head on and in the process stretch ourselves, learn and grow, or do we shrink back and attempt the easiest passage possible, thereby missing the inherent lessons available..

do we push our limits and understand that we are more than what we allow ourselves to think we are,

or do we squeak by and never know the power of our spirit and the passions woven into our capabilities..

every moment is given as an opportunity to learn, to take in the experience and to apply that to what we already know... to change, to evolve and to understand that what we do,

and know and feel, must move forward and be transformed in an ongoing process...

this life, this time here in this place, this gift, is meant to be lived and experienced, learned and taught...

our lives are meant to be full and rich with experience and questioning, full of hope and contentment...

but to shy away from any difficult work,

cheats ourselves of the opportunity to experience just who we really are...

stride boldly forward,

arms outstretched and soul hungry

for all that can be gathered in this time we are allotted..

and most importantly...

never underestimate the privilege it is to be You..

anticipation...

as I begin to contemplate what is to come this year,

I find myself relishing the anticipation that has replaced the dread of the last 12 months...

that familiar "on the edge of your seat" heart quickening

what happens next thought process...

the who and when and how will all of this play out,

decisions to be made, pros and cons to be pondered,

and ultimately choices made and changes set in motion...

exciting choices and even more exciting changes,

the blending of lives and their shared dreams,

the opportunity to once again, stretch and grow

and bathe in soul healing Joy...

it is so glorious to feel alive again,

and though external input can only add to that,

it is wonderful to be in this place once more,

where the clouds are completely silver, not just their lining,

where the rain tastes sweet as honey,

and the horizon stretches on infinitely,

full of promise...

I am filled with anticipation for these days,

filled with knowing that all of this,

I deserve...

Bon Annee!!!...

A very Happy New Year to all!!!

a Huge toast to 2012 "clink"

 to a year of Love, new opportunities, Peace

and new journeys...

new beginnings, the blending of individual lives,

a deeper soul felt existence,

a time to forgive past mistakes, to cherish new moments,

to understand that by our mere appearance on this planet

we matter...

to embrace that it is never to late to change or Love

or forgive...

and that this act of self forgiveness

eradicates all the chains that bind our hearts,

to allow the universe to provide us with what we need,

versus what we think we want...

and to let go and keep hands outstretched,

so that those open hands are able to receive

what is intended to come our way...

to cultivate our passions,

and live each moment with honesty,

remembering that we are indeed all connected,

and that you are just as valuable as I am..

celebrate our differences as beautiful

instead of a negative,

may your 2012 be filled with

more hugs than handshakes..

more smiles than tears,

and more sunshine than clouds...

see you all on the flip side!

Ry

a shining star in the East...

Merry Christmas everyone.

may the blessings of this season, brighten your days,

bring peace to your loved ones,

and fill your home with Love

1 hundred in 20 eleven...

well I made it.  this is officially my One Hundredth post! I never would have thought last January, when I began this new endeavor, that I would hit this milestone in a year. As I look back, I can see how my writing has changed, I see the fun posts, and I see some filled with deep pain and loss. I thought it fitting, to take a stroll back through the past 12 months and bring what I felt was a highlight from each month and share it again with you. Each post title is a link back to the original.

January - writing, the process...

As a child I stood on the shore of the world,

bathed in the light of Something or Someone I as of yet did not know

caressed by the breeze and warmed in the Light,

my Soul was filled and my Spirit took flight,

like so many wings above me

February - there is a purpose...

But in the midst of all of this, as usually happens for me..something began to bloom.. there is a purpose to that which serves to knock us on our butts, which clears the mind of all the "small stuff" we gather around ourselves. The sudden clarity of my existence, what really matters, and what really doesn't. We are here for a reason, each one of us has a purpose for being where we are, who we are. Some become Leaders, teachers, scholars, but our own lives, how we live them, how we love them, is always why we are here. I read a quote the other day that ran something like "your life is precious and has value, if someone else could do what your life is intended to do, you wouldn't be here" and that shifted me. 

March - breathe and exhale...

feel

the breath fill you, welcoming in all that is history,

know that it changes you, heals you, educates you

taste it's dreams and colours, bask in it's flavours

feel it's tears, acknowledge it's essence

                                                                           exhale..

and repeat..

for you are also now it's history

April - who will people say you were...

of all the stuff that we gather, that fills our shelves and closets and garages to overflowing.. the picture albums full of snapshots, the jewels, the must have latest gadgets.. is this who you are? the loved ones left behind to clean up or clear our your treasures may find items that make them laugh or cry, pause to relive moments together, but is this all that is you, your essence? will they say you always drove the nicest car, lived in the best homes, took the most expensive vacations, threw the best parties.. or will they say you were loving, and caring and had the biggest heart. Will they say you were full of Joy, full of compassion and hope.. that you lived each moment to it's absolute maximum..

        when there is nothing left of you but sweet memories.. who will people say you were...

           

May - if...

                 if you didn't know, you are loved in the same way as you loved us, 

without judgement, loved for who you are, 

for all those things you went out of your way to do, things that were not your responsibility,you took them and us on as your own, 

because you wouldn't have had it any other way..

if this is to be our final chapter, there is comfort in knowing that we shall meet again.. where the sky meets the stars, I shall find you again one day, free and young and whole...

June - miracles...

I was blessed to witness a miracle today, a miracle of life..

I was with a loved one when she passed away..I say miracle because that is exactly what it feels like it was.. a calm and peaceful end to a wondrous love filled life.. I feel somehow honoured to have been near as she slipped quietly from this world, free of her struggle with illness, much like as in life with no fuss... I sit here only a short couple of hours after saying my final goodbye with a kiss to her forehead and a last touch of her loving hands.. and I am at peace... my heart is broken, shattered and I am missing her sweet laugh already, but to have been present and having her allow me to be so, has no words yet that quite fit the moment... only a stream of tears...

July - holy ground...

your wish for me is to be all this and more, never striving to deny me anything, only to add to who I am and who I can be... grounded in lessons learned, dreams fulfilled, a destiny before me larger than anything I could have envisioned on my own... 

stay with me on these sacred grounds, 

guide and shape my being into value for this place... 

move my hands and my thoughts into actions of compassion and empathy... 

dry my tears and refresh my spirit... 

knowing you are always near, always ready, always loving... 

grounds my faith and steadies my feet for the next step...

August - when my time has come...

when my time has come, know that I am just over the horizon, walking ahead on to the next adventure for my soul to experience, but I am also as close as your next thought of us together... what we share is never lost, only packed temporarily away until the next time we unwrap the moment and let it touch us again... 

good bye's are never forever, just momentary... know that when it is time for you to take your journey, when your time too has come, that I will meet you with outstretched arms, smiles, laughter and tears of joy as you appear in the distance, with each step moving closer to our blessed reunion...

September - feels like home...

so elemental in essence, sheltering and safe,

an essential blend of who and what and where I want to be...

what it feels like, that intangible almost indescribable shangri-la,

 all encompassing spirit fulfilling

place to be comforted and peaceful and blessed...

feels like home... feels like the sweetest symphony,

treasured like the most exquisite pearl...

feels like home...

October - at a loss...

I hold fast to the knowledge that I am loved, and that I Love.. my existence is filled with an array of amazing persons whom I adore... I understand more clearly that to love them and cherish them, adds colour and texture and depth to my world, and that it will also in time add sadness and grief as we inevitably lose one another... all part of the same painting, all plants in the same garden of life... for to love someone today, must include that they were brought into life to live their seasons, to flourish and then decline and fade away... just as summer roses or spring tulips burst forth into life, blossom and grow, and then fade at seasons end, so to will we fade at our seasons end...

November - transformed...

this is a story of Love which has no bounds and no chains... free to be explored and ingested and danced and sung... just one day like this, feels divine, the prospect of another and another and another feels almost indulgent, but they are ours to be lived... hand in hand, heart in heart we tread onwards to this destiny laid before us, a gift of here and now, a reward for the battle scars of the past, a reward for the unending faith that yes, this is possible and I will claim my share...

It has been quite a year. Lessons, tears, pain, but also knowledge that all of these mold and shape this person I have become, different than last year, and not the same as even tomorrow. There has been laughter and friendship, community, togetherness and finally the sweet sweet embrace of Love...

to those of you who have walked this road with me, I say Thank You, for your words of encouragement, your comments, and your being there in spirit... 

words are often my comfort, my way of getting out what my soul needs to share and shed... 

a toast...

to another 1 hundred with you... Happy New Year...

short shortbread...

so I'm not a baker per say, well let me rephrase that, I can bake, cookies,croissants, bread etc, I just prefer cooking to baking... I think its all the sifting and measuring etc.. with cooking I can just add stuff as I wish, a pinch here, a sprig of that.. much more enjoyable for me..

that is until we come to Christmas time.. and Shortbread... the stuff of Angels and by far my hands down favourite Christmas baked goody. I have to admit I have put away a fair number of these delights in my years and look forward to this tradition.
The recipe that I have shared below is the simplest and most delectable I have found. It is originally from my Aunt B's mother, and has always been referred to as Granny's Shortbread. Light and melt in your mouth, it has become "the" shortbread all others are measured by.

 I take this every year into my office as I am repeatedly asked by my coworkers if I am making it again.I still make it the same way I was first taught, a small round fluted cookie cutter, rolled thin and pricked twice on top with a fork. No sprinkles, no chocolate, just the cookie itself to melt and dissolve on your tongue.

Granny's Shortbread

1 lb Butter
1 cup sifted Icing Sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
4 cups 5 Roses All Purpose Flour ( use a very fine baking flour)

Soften the butter to room temperature, mix in the Vanilla , the Icing Sugar and half the flour. Add the rest of the flour a little at a time until you have a stiff and non-sticky dough. The dough can be refrigerated covered, until you are ready to roll it out. Roll out to your desired thickness and place on an un-greased baking sheet. The number of cookies will depend on the thickness of the cookies that you desire. Cook at 275F until done. The trick with these is to basically dry them out, and not brown them. They should snap gently in half when done. Remove quickly from the baking sheet and place on cooling racks to stop them from cooking further. These also freeze very well in a tightly sealed container.
Simple, seasonal, and so delicious!

Finally, my wish for all of you. 

May the Christmas Season bring warm memories, 

Joy and Peace to you and yours. 

May these last 12 months be remembered with fondness 

and may you carry forward the lessons that they have taught you. 

Hold your loved ones close, 

make that long overdue telephone call, 

and celebrate our differences as gifts.

Merry Christmas

Ryan, here at Current Ripple.