so suddenly... "You"

so suddenly, the clouds are shifting, the thick and oppressive layer of heaviness that has walked with me for these last months is starting to clear... out of the blue, pardon the pun, the air is clean and crisp and I can see the lesson hidden in all of those dark days...

"hold what is precious as if it were your own fragile glass heart,

and nurture the mystery of Love with all of your soul.."

the loss these last 12 months or so has been immense, as I have said before, more than in the last decade, and while travelling this highway, I searched for the meaning, the lesson I was to take away from all of this grief... as I am writing this, the sun is now breaking through the clouds in the sky, spilling across my face, almost signalling that I have gotten it right, that this road was one of reflection and renewal... beginnings from what had been endings... that there are still hopes and dreams and Love...

as the footsteps of my days gone past fade into the distance behind me, I can now look inward at those who no longer walk with me, and understand that their leaving was not a punishment, but instead a blessed reminder that to have loved and been in their company, however long or short, is the true gift of this place we inhabit... I understand that their gifts to me of time and laughter and love, have now become like finely woven silk, meant to cover and drape me in the essence of who they were... you may be gone physically, but I can taste the flavours of your lives now almost for the first time... and you grant me the ability to move on...

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so suddenly, I can brush away the tears, and focus on "You", striding towards me, arms outstretched and heart offered to me without impediment... "You" who have searched just as I have done, whose fears and anticipation of this connection have been wrapped up in hope and longing...

"You" reached up and tore open the sky, bringing back the blue and gold, bathing me in understanding, clarity and anticipation...
"You" who have presented yourself, here and now, the messenger of all that was to be clarified... the catalyst for this amazing transformation out of darkness into Love.

a new road stretching out in front of our existence, paved as most others with hills and valleys, some mountains and detours, but filled also with possibility and adventure...

I raise my eyes skyward, and give Thanks for lessons learned,

I give Thanks for blessings that flow like snow fed rivers...

and I Thank "You",

just so suddenly You...

I dedicate this post to "MZ", for being You, when I needed You to be.