today...

today I breathe, deeply and conscious of the sweet scented summer air filling my lungs,

today I sing, transforming that same breath into sweet scented notes filling my space,

today I move, to the rhythm of the universe as it taps out a sweet staccato beat,

today I praise, the sweet life of abundance and joy...

today I bless, those whose warmth encompasses me in glorious tenderness,

today I celebrate, the warmth of the august sun dripping from above,

today I pray, the warmth of my spirit radiating from my very core,

today I plan, for the gatherings of loved ones whose warmth sustains me...

today I give thanks, for those who touch my soul,

today I am humbled, by those lives I am blessed to touch in so many ways,

today I share my words, knowing not who they will touch,

today I hold, I touch the memories along the road that leads me here...

today I ask of you, what was your today... 

when my time has come...

when my time has come, and I stop for a moment on my journey to look back over my shoulder to see those who have gathered, I wish to see hands up, I wish to hear voices raised in joyous song, I wish to see smiles and hear laughter... for when my time has come, the days and hours and minutes I was blessed to be,

will be to the exact specification of Him, my Creator... 

it will not have been one moment longer or shorter than was precisely planned for my journey...

when my time has come, hold to all the moments we shared with each other and warm yourself in these memories we created... sing the silly songs we sang, laugh at each others human faults, frailties and missteps...
walk the highways of our blended journey and stop to take in all that beauty, drink in the knowledge that we somehow found each other and shared of ourselves...

when my time has come, know that I loved you, respected you and always held you in the highest regard, for that is what you deserve my friend... know that in our times apart, you were always in my thoughts and never far from my heart... allow your tears to come if you must, but use them only to wash away the sadness and morph into sweet thoughts of glorious elation for all that we shared... my dreams for you will always be with you, coaxing, prodding, supporting...

when my time has come, know that I am just over the horizon, walking ahead on to the next adventure for my soul to experience, but I am also as close as your next thought of us together... what we share is never lost, only packed temporarily away until the next time we unwrap the moment and let it touch us again...

good bye's are never forever, just momentary... know that when it is time for you to take your journey, when your time too has come, that I will meet you with outstretched arms, smiles, laughter and tears of joy as you appear in the distance, with each step moving closer to our blessed reunion...

standing in our own sunshine...

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



I stumbled across this quote today and it shot right through my brain... such a simple phrase of words, but they carry such weight and substance... who of us hasn't cast a shadow on our own life by standing in our own sunshine, blocking out the sparkle of our being and accomplishments... how quickly we are taught to take the shine off so as to not stand out too brightly against the rest of the pack... perhaps it was the words of a parent who crippled our ability to take center stage by casting doubt on our own skills... maybe the harsh words of a critic after a performance... the sting of a review after a heart based piece of prose was written... why do we never allow ourselves to be enough, even when we know we are enough...

our foundations are built and sunk into bedrock able to withstand any storm that encompasses us... foundations unshakable in the midst of life's chaotic tide... stronger than steel and more solid than bedrock.. but it takes one external voice, one opinion that what we have done is less than it could be, for those foundations to be wrenched from their moorings and leave us broken and hiding in the shadows...

why do we not grasp that what we are capable of and what we put forth is valuable

because we took the chance to dream...

natural progression of skill notwithstanding, our projects, our endeavors, our lives are valuable just as they are, because we are valuable... if we take the time to create, if we nurture, if we write or sing or paint, who is to say what we have done is less than... every brush stroke, every word written, every child nurtured, is by it's very action, blessed and holy in itself, worthy of praise and celebration...

would we stand at the shore and say that the tide should ebb and flow more smoothly, do we face the starry sky and request they be presented more orderly, do we critique the flight of the Eagle as inferior...

we routinely create and cast the shadows over our own abilities, dulling them down, pushing away the accolades of a job well done, leaving ourselves devoid of the joy of self and wholeness...

we need to remove the ability to discredit our own worth, and I know this is a difficult road to walk... perhaps the weight of abuse or neglect hangs heavy in our hearts, perhaps it is a long passed decision or mistake that haunts our thoughts, possibly a shouldering of regret at what could have or should have been.. if only... lay down the weight, and run free of the entanglements of this world, for moments past can never be undone and thus need to be filed away so as to serve only as a guide for the next mountain in our path...

let our new mantra be one of worthiness and character, competence and acceptance...

strip away the coverings and allow your true glowing colours to burst forth...

stop casting your own shadows, step forward and allow all the brilliance of who you are

to shine brighter than the rays of the sun...

embrace what you have created, embrace what you are capable of and

never let this gift be tarnished by any outside perspective...

we are glorious by the nature that we exist, whole and perfect and extraordinary...

refuse to be held back by yourself or anyone else, you deserve that much for your soul..

let those shadows cast before dissolve into completeness and perfection,

for this is how you were made... this is your right and your intention...

 

all in Love...

what hasn't been written over the centuries about Love that I could possibly speak about anew... I am certainly no expert, with a plethora of failed "relationships filled with the opportunity to learn and grow"... what is this emotion that sparks the best and the worst in all of us... the overwhelming butterflies at the very start of a romance that can turn and fade in the blink of an eye... the honeymoon period that too soon is over, and while it can't last forever, why is it so fleeting...

yet deep down in all of us is the basic need to Love and be Loved... the lifelong dream of the "right" one... sure Prince's on horseback and all that, but the basic life need to be wrapped in loving arms, held close, honoured and cherished... what drives us steadily onward to find our companion, the one to see us through thick or thin, steadfastly loyal and fiercely protective... for me, life's lessons in Love have been some of the most tender and heart wrenching I have experienced... the loss of a loved one, has the sharpest sting and the most long lasting emotion of all...

don't get me wrong, though the pain can be overwhelming, it damn sure makes you feel alive... at the very core is the understanding that what is gone, has changed me and left me with ideas and dreams battered, but somehow still able to see forward to the day they are fulfilled... looking forward to the day that "someone new" appears from behind the veil of time to take my hand and peer into my soul...

how I long to feel that rush of joy, longing to be encompassed in thoughts of that someone special who brightens my days, whose touch I crave, whose eyes sparkle at the sound of my voice and the caress of my hand upon their cheek... the fullness of my chest as I feel my heartbeat pound at the sight of them, the need to be near and share who I am and what I have... peeling off the layers in exploration of their life's journey, comparing notes about childhoods and crazy families... marking off the anniversaries of "firsts", first kiss, first family gathering, first argument, first make up...  that rush of pride when you introduce them to friends and your secret wish that they be accepted in your friends eyes as "worthy of you" and knowing it doesn't matter if they do... the fading of past loves who once held this same magic touch, the love songs that sound just that much sweeter and more authentic... Love.. powerful, emotional, encompassing, exhilarating...

so I plod onwards, waiting for you, waiting to meet you and connect with you... I know you are on your way, working your path to intersect with mine when the time is right... molding your life and heart into the one who will hold my hand and walk with me... shaping your soul to fit perfectly with my own re-worked being, capable of recognizing who you are to be... when the last tear falls and is replaced by Hope, you will appear, ready to begin our journey together, the fabric of our voyage weaving into a fine tapestry of experiences... hold out your hand and I will take it in mine, all in Love we shall honour our time and pilgrimage and what has brought us to this moment...

for now, I remain, awaiting your approach and living the moments in anticipation of your glorious arrival...

texture and grain...

all my life experience adds texture and grain to my being,

ragged edges, smooth surfaces, shredded silhouettes,

tears and scars, pock marks and divots...

texture and grain makes me unique and uncommon,

yet links me to the rest of humanity who are also decorated

in the same way...

 

battle scars of long past clashes serve as a reminder of past glory,

the well worn surfaces rubbed smooth by gentle caress,

each line and wrinkle speaks of experience and wisdom...

molded and shaped by the externals of our existence,

curled and peaked, stripped bare and moss covered,

each metamorphosis ebbs and flows leaving its mark...

 

layer by layer we grow and reach for who we are to become,

bathed in consciousness and awareness...

hearts open to what and where our journey has lead and leads us on to...

each furrow holds insight and recognition of the fluid stream of our lives,

embrace your texture, appreciate your grain...

seize the being standing before you as a representation of all that you are,

all that you have accomplished, and all that you are chosen to be...

 

to what we aspire...

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott

what lies just beyond our grasp at this moment, draws ever closer with each process of thought and action... nothing is owed to us or guaranteed without our own investment and movement... we may seek our dreams for an entire lifetime, but this journey rewards us with the spoils of our pilgrimage towards that which we envision for ourselves... we may seek our dreams at the cost of all else but even in that decision, there is learning and wisdom to be gleaned... listen to your soul, learn to identify that which is heart based and beneficial for you to aspire to become... cast aside the glitter and the instant, instead reach for the gratification that is wrapped around any tough expedition, for the reward at the end of this kind of adventure, is unmeasurable...

always steadfastly allow what you know to be honest and true, to ring out loudest and shine brightest, for when you are tested, in these you will never doubt... when facing the fire, what is authentic and absolute will withstand the audit of the flames...

but, just as we need to learn to crawl before we can sprint, don't set your aspirations so high that you defeat yourself before the first step... don't forget that the footsteps climbing the mountain to the top are worth every bit as much as the view from the peak... each step in line with the one behind it, striding ever closer to your dreams, take the cut offs and the side roads to see what they hold... escape the linear path and bask in the experience and mysteries that unfold along the diverted road... for even backtracking from a dead end, presents a different view and new vistas...

in all of this, hold tight to your dreams... if they are authentic to who you are, they will remain unshakable, if they are not, they will be transformed by your journey into much more that you could have ever imagined at the outset... who you become by aspiring to be more than you have been, is a reward that nothing can overshadow... who you can become can never be taken away because it is who you are with every fiber, and should everything else fall away, you are still who you are, and that will always be undeniable...

aspire to be who it feels right to be, don't let your doubts cloud any possibilities for your journey towards yourself... many awaken feeling that as one life, we are unable to effect any significant change, but many more awaken to the knowledge that it takes just "one" life... just one idea, one moment, one dream, and from that one seed can grow a nation, a movement, an unceasing tide of difference...

listen to what your dreams tell you, listen to where they wish to guide you, listen to how they wish to hold you through all of life's moments... live them, breathe them and hold them as you would your beloved... let your aspirations be who you are, not what you think you should be, or what others impose on you...

for these are yours, your most devout desires woven through all that you are... these are your purpose, these are your intentions and the deed to your soul...

change...

change...
to some a nasty word... leading to a shift of comfort zone, the requirement to learn something new, a stirring up of the status quo...
to some a word filled with hope, looking forward to different circumstances which may be better than the current one...
to some a chance to grow and stretch, to move out of ones safety zone and embrace the future...
change = opportunity...

for a great number of us, change equals resistance or a "heels dug in firmly in refusal" to shift out of the current and into something unknown... some of us hold so tightly to where we are, that nothing can dynamite us forward, thus losing the opportunities that this forward movement brings into our lives... stuck by fear, by indecision, or even by the "well we have always done it this way" mentality, so robs us of experiences that can and should enrich our lives...
change = fear...

it seems that nothing ever stays the same.. a drive down the street reveals an empty lot where a building stood just 24 hours earlier... a turn at the next corner shows a new condo development... the world economy on it's roller coaster ride... the fast pace of technology where your newest toy is old by tomorrow... right down to the look of your Blog page... always refreshing, changing it up, keeping it fresh, keeping it new...

I think they need to update (change) that old saying that there are only 2 things in this life that are guaranteed, Death and Taxes.. well how about adding "Change" to that list...

I am always fascinated by people's reaction to moving forward and making changes... hell it feels like you fall off the grid if you don't keep up with it all these days... but why do some of us resist change so ferociously... especially when making those adjustments is for the good... I myself can count numerous times when I have also, bucked the changes, refused to get in line... soon enough to be standing on my own as the rest of the crowd moves off into the distance... don't get me wrong, I have no issues with swimming my own stream, but what holds me back, what locks my feet into inaction...

I know that I am getting better at looking at the big picture and basing my willingness to change on that, rather than a knee jerk immediate rebuff and steadfast resistance... is it wisdom, is it an eagerness to stretch and gather in all the experiences this life has to offer, even if that means stepping out into the unknown?

Am I shedding my fears and replacing that with something deeper, a sense of being strong enough and able to take on what comes at me, dealing with the off chance that some obstacles will need to be overcome along the way.

Ultimately, with whatever accompanies the waves of changes that wash over our lives, it is still a journey of discovery, that chance to learn and listen, teach and speak of our experiences with one another... a movement of ideas, of physical location, of spiritual practice and of new thoughts embraced...

open the door to something different, analyze and dissect, teach yourself something new and become changed in the process...

this rivers edge...

Reason and faith are both banks of the same river. 

~Doménico Cieri Estrada

stand with me at this rivers edge and watch the swirling current as it flows past our gaze... stand with me in comfortable silence, eyes fixed on the movement, souls embraced for this moment... stand with me at this rivers edge knowing the journey that must be undertaken, this journey that may leave us broken and battered but joyous and blessed... stand with me at this rivers edge, believe that I will be what you need to wade through the sadness and the pain, that I will carry you, when you can no longer press on...

tread with me past this rivers edge, out into the current where nothing is certain and our footing unknown... tread with me past this rivers edge to face the fear of ourselves... grip it tightly and demand it teach you the lessons it withholds from you... demand it dissolve away into ripples that emanate outwards leaving memories but no chains with which to bind you any longer... command the doubts be silenced and discarded...

wade with me past this rivers edge out into the rush of cleansing water, embrace the chance to dilute all that has come before with new vision and see that filled with new opportunity and light... wade with me past this rivers edge out into the depths where your feet no longer touch earth, and feel the lightness of your being as the passage from old to new reaches out in encompassing embrace... know that I am beside you though each memory made and felt... know that I am, just as you are, renewed and purified and healed...

bless with me this rivers edge, climbing out of the rush and onto a firm new foundation... bless with me this rivers edge where all feels reborn and limitless... our journey undertaken as one... this new landscape where everything is possible and abundant... our journey has bathed us in peace and security, has peeled away the layers of stagnant inaction and sorrow... drink in the nourishing gift of tranquility and bask in the glow of your own strength...

this is but one rivers edge on our journey, one chance to be free and to reflect... when you come to the rivers edge, fear not the crossing, instead fear the decisions of inaction... what is put before you is never more than you are capable of walking... and you are never alone... lean on those who's own paths lay as a shadow stretching before you... reach for the wisdom and the love... where are you on this rivers edge....

You cannot step into the same river twice. 

~Heraclitus, in Diogenes Laertius, Lives

freaky photos...

These were taken on my photo walk today guided by a local photographer who set up a 2 hour teaching seminar. These were produced by using a Canon EOS 50D, 1/10 shutter speed, 100 ISO, and a f16 aperture. The original subject is a stand of trees, some purple and the rest green with the scattered cloudy sky in the background for the light source.

once you have the shot set up, twist the body or drop the lens camera as you take the shot creating these "paint with light" unusual photos. swing the camera to one side as a different effect.

these images are exactly as they come from the camera. I have not touched them at all in any type of post production process.

this shot of the grass was achieved by focusing in on the ground and manually twisting the lens to zoom as you depress the shutter button.

was a funky afternoon of photo fun for sure!

celebrate...

the culmination of months and weeks and hours of preparation flows towards them

like a tsunami ready to break on the shore...

everything in place, the planning and meetings and ideas all stand ready to come alive...

the last morning rain shower clears overhead and the sun begins to reflect all the glam and glitter of this day... smiling faces of those who wait expectantly for this day to begin turn to cheers and laughter..

and thoughts of  freedom...

anticipation palpable in the crowd as zero hour creeps slowly closer...

happy figures stakeout their best viewing area, claiming their patch of asphalt, concrete or balcony...

colours glint and flash as friends greet with warm embrace and words of solidarity...

beads and taffeta, sequins and tulle,

people wrapped like precious packages,

living ornaments to Celebrate

this day...

the procession begins to move, each in turn starting their journey of renewed community, renewed thankfulness, renewed blessings that we inhabit a country where we can Celebrate...
no fear of reprisals or backlash, a day to be who we are authentically...

hands wave and bodies move in time to funky beats, words sung, hands clap, voices cheer,

flags wave and the applause of the joyous crowd ricochets off buildings and banners,

a river of affection stretching endlessly

we walk with heads held high, we walk with purpose and passion,

we walk united and proud,

we walk for each other, for those gone before and for those who will come after,

we walk for those still unable to be free and loved for themselves...

we have walked to Educate,

to show that we are not so different from each other,

we have walked to Liberate,

to free those who still need unshackling from oppression, 

today we walk to Celebrate,

we walk to celebrate the walls that have come down in the name of Love...

we Celebrate you and I and Us,

we Celebrate all that is Good and Great and Grand about life and loving acceptance...

and most poignantly perhaps, we walk because of you...

the tireless army behind the scenes who set the stage for our grand performance,

for without your determination, your vision, your hard work and selflessness,

our moment to shine as one,

would not happen...

wrapped in our individual moments,

we Celebrate you

I dedicate this post to the VPS staff and it's hundreds of volunteers

who make it possible to shine brightly,

who made it possible to Celebrate



tranquil monday...